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We had relocated back to the Philippines after 13 years of living in Jakarta, and we had only been in Quezon City for a few months when Dad was assigned to the Arthur Andersen offices in Nigeria for 3 months. Individually and as a family, we were faced with the daunting emotional challenges of re-entry, and I thought I was having the toughest time of all.

It must have been a Saturday morning in December, with all the Christmas songs in full force on the Philippine airwaves, when I sat down for breakfast with Mom. Dad had been away for perhaps a month and a half, and my siblings might have still been asleep or at a Saturday class. Gary V's fine tenor on "Pasko Na, Sinta Ko" was being played loud by one of the construction workers in the backyard, as Mom and I ate in what I figured was a content silence.

But I began to notice that Mom had just been chasing her food around on her plate, when she suddenly asked, "What song is this?" Since the song had been playing on the radio so many times, I was pretty sure she knew the answer, but it seemed she just wanted to break the silence.

Mom who was doing her best to oversee the construction of our house expansion, and not just as Mom who was running the house efficiently as a manager, dispatcher, and quality-control inspector. I saw Mom as a woman who was missing the hugs and kisses of the man she had been in love with for over 20 years, her true love who always called her sweetheart. "Paano ang Pasko?" Gary V was plaintively asking, and Mom was listening. I know this wasn't the first time Mom & Dad had been separated by thousands of miles, but to my eyes it was the first time that it dawned on me that she was a wife first, somebody's sweetheart, before she was a mother. "Alay ko sa 'yo," Mom must have been thinking at every turn of the day.

"It's 'Pasko Na, Sinta Ko' by Gary Valenciano," I replied.

"Nice song," said Mom as she put her utensils down and rested her head in her hands, then looked towards a distant continent.

Lagos, Nigeria
December 9, 1987

My dearest Sweetheart,

As I pack up my things for the trip back to our home, which will take me four more days because of my workshop in Switzerland, I cannot but think of you. I know it is just 96 more hours before we fall into each other's arms, but that feels like eternity. Anyway, with God's guidance, that will not be very long in coming.

I would like very much to say how much I love you. And this year has been one where I really have to thank you for many, many things that you have done for all of us. I don't think anybody else could have done what you have carried out and yet did not have much complaints and worries. And you also managed to overcome your own concerns about adjusting to the Philippine lifestyle.

I hope you did not feel deserted when I started leaving you for my prolonged trips to Nigeria. I am happy that you understand being an SGV wife and mother. There are things that I have been going through which you have felt I should not be involved in. There are times like now when there is a family project like our house extension that you would want me to be there to see through. And yet, I have opted to pursue what is for the good of my work.

As I have said, these are things I do which hopefully will redound to the betterment of our lives. If we have not sacrificed before, taking on the unknown in Indonesia, for example, maybe by now you still be an elementary school teacher, and in my case, a plant manager. It is all a dream, we say, but it is not. We really put our minds and efforts into it and we are where we are now.

Which just means that every now and then God challenges us to face some hard times. And it is up to us to roll up our sleeves, make decisions, and then do our very best. As I tell people, everyone has to move just to keep abreast with the rest of humanity. And may of these moves require some sacrifices, big and small. And you have made probably the biggest sacrifice in the family. Shall we say that mothers usually do, from the moment they conceive and give birth to their children?

I'm sure you are going through very tough times managing the home and the construction work. But I hope that you will find joy in that you have made this sacrifice for the greater good of our family, in the same way that I am also trying to do the same. At the end, all of us will gain from it, and we will again be able to say that "We've done it!".

And for the Christmas, I would like to say "I love you a million times, such that if some nights you will not hear me say it, you will know that I made the advance statement this time.

With lots of love and sunshine from my heart to yours,

Faithful Dad

I regarded my Mom for a while, and it was then that I for once saw her not just as Mom who was trying to deal with our meltdowns and depression in a new and strange country, not just as Mom who was doing her best to oversee the construction of our house expansion, and not just as Mom who was running the house efficiently as a manager, dispatcher, and quality-control inspector. I saw Mom as a woman who was missing the hugs and kisses of the man she had been in love with for over 20 years, her true love who always called her sweetheart. "Paano ang Pasko?" Gary V was plaintively asking, and Mom was listening. I know this wasn't the first time Mom & Dad had been separated by thousands of miles, but to my eyes it was the first time that it dawned on me that she was a wife first, somebody's sweetheart, before she was a mother. "Alay ko sa 'yo," Mom must have been thinking at every turn of the day.