Metamorphosis
by Jane *
IF my dad were a comic strip character, he would be Dagwood of Blondie, always trying to save money by sending off the sales men that come to the house.

If he were a subject in school, he would be accounting, always trying to figure out a way to do things without a big load.

If he were a color, he would be brown, a color of the earth and origin.

If he were a communication gadget, he would be a megaphone, with a sound which drowns out all other sounds.
IF my Mom were a comic strip character, she would be Blondie of Blondie, married to Dagwood, and equally cares for the family.

If she were a subject in school, she would be Home Economics, always caring for the house and making sure everything is clean.

If she were a color, she would be yellow, cheerful and bright-and also pro-Aquino.

If she were a communication gadget, she would be a radio, conveying messages from office to home to school.
IF Alma were a comic strip character, she would be Betty of Archie comics, being the psychiatrist of the family.

If she were a subject in school, she would be Psychology and/or Psychiatry, always listening to other people’s problems.

If she were a color, she would also be brown, earthly and not too demanding.

If she were a communication gadget, she would be a microphone, which can bring harsh messages or relaxing news, or even music.
If Grace were a comic strip character, she would be Katy Keene of Katy Keene, always going somewhere with something on her face.

If she were a subject in school, she would be cosmetology or Weight Training, demanding that every part of her body is in good shape but not getting there!

If she were a color, she would be pink, which is half a soft color and half striking color.

If she were a communication gadget, she would be a car horn, telling everybody to move when she’s impatient
If I were a comic strip character, I would be Garfield of Garfield, hating "cute."

If I were a subject in school, I would be Algebra, un-understandable going around in circles.

If I were a color, I would be light blue, a color that represents the sky, as I am hardly down here on earth!

If I were a communication gadget, I would be a telephone, ringing with shrill laughter.
                
If Elaine were a comic strip character, she would be Punky Brewster of Punky Brewster, a perfect example of a typical six year old.

If she were a subject in school, she wouldn’t be a subject, she’d be the student, seeking deeper knowledge.

If she were a color, she would be pink, but lighter than Grace’s pink, as pink is a feminine color.

If she were a communication gadget, she would be paper, which everybody uses to get there messages across.
                
If Vernon were a comic strip character, he would be Linus of Peanuts, being surrounded by "mean, ugly  sisters.

If he were a subject in school, he would be Physical Education, either trying to build muscles or screaming at the top of his lungs.

If he were a color, he would be striking red, loud and demanding.

If he were a communication gadget, he would be telex, making sure his messages to and from him come only from the person he directed it to.
The Aliga Comics with Dagwood, Blondie, Betty, Katy Keane, Garfield, Punky Brewster and Linus!  (Check out the Milo King!)
NOTE: Written by Jane as an 8th Grader in 1985 (JIS)
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